my Walk.

cafwal dance!

2005-07-06T09:38:00.000+08:00

my Walk.

It's been a long time since i posted. Haha. Just went for the first law fac dance practice yesterday. It was really fun, despite my not having ANY prior dance experience. I'm glad I went. Don't want to have any regrets later in my life (Oh **** why didn't I participate in THAT!)

Really looking forward to university. Here's to a blessed, favoured life filled with fun, love, joy and peace!

One life, live it!

Irony of ironies

2005-04-14T11:57:00.000+08:00

Isn't it ironic that hunter gatherers 40000 years ago had a better life than us? No doubt, life expectancy may have been shorter, and life in general may have been nasty, brutish and short, but they only worked 4 hours a day to hunt for food and gather whatever they needed. The rest of the day was used for contemplation, telling stories, crafting tools and jewellery, basically, the development of culture.

What do have now? 12 hour (and increasing!) days. We have bigger houses, but we spend less time at home, longer lives, but less time to enjoy it.

How I thank God for giving me His zoe life! I desire to live it more!.

Work from Rest

2005-04-08T12:16:00.000+08:00

BS last night was excellent. See Jerald's blog for a concise summary. Pastor said something very profound, about working from a state of rest. As with many biblical principles, it seems paradoxical. I mean, work while resting? What can it possibly mean? But as with other principles that I've learnt, it may not make sense as first, but it works.

One very similar principle springs to mind: Matthew 6:25 'Take no thought, saying...' 'But', you may argue, 'if I don't think about tomorrow, to make provision and to plan, how will I survive?' That may be true for non-believers, but for children of God, our Father takes care of tomorrow.

But I digress. Working from rest is a most important issue. Jesus was very active, but He did not do from His own flesh, rather, He did nothing 'except I see the Father do.' Today, as believers, God in us causes us to desire to do and to know how to implement the desire that He has placed in us. So what does working from rest mean? In part, to follow the life within whenever we approach work.

Why only in part? It is all too easy to fall into your own works even as you go about the will of God. Hence, the other limb of working from rest is to constantly be reminded, even as you are working, that the Holy Spirit is the one in control, that He is the one that is giving you the ability to do.

How do you know that you are working from rest? When you work, you will feel a sense of ease and peace within. You may have a 3000 word essay to write, but when working from rest, you find joy and a desire to complete the assignment. In the midst of writing, you do not feel rushed, nor do you worry about the time you are taking to finish the essay. There is no adrenalin associated with the urge to hurry, hurry, hurry, and when you complete the work, you feel pleasure.

The converse is true. Working from self effort is characterized by frustration and anger, boredom and loathing.

Lord, teach me more about Your rest, and help me to work from your rest. In Jesus name, amen.

2005-04-04T14:10:00.000+08:00

I don't know what's happening, Lord, but I trust that You are good, and that You will not let me down.

La La La Love Song (Long Vacation)

2005-04-01T08:17:00.000+08:00

知らぬ間に落としてた　小さなかけらを
shiranu ma ni otoshiteta chiisana kakera wo
隙間なく抱きよせ　　肌でたしかめあう
sukimanaku dakiyose hade tashikame au

宇宙の見えない夜
uchuu no mienai yoru

ＹｏｕＡｒｅＭｙＳｈｉｎｉｎ’Ｓｔａｒ

かまわない　君が見える
kamawanai kimi ga mieru

In English:

Before I knew it I was falling to pieces
Let me embrace you tightly and I'll make sure you're happy
The invisible night of space
It doesn't matter, I can see you

Thank you, Lord, you're able to do exceeding abundantly above all that I ask or (even) think, to show me the length, the breadth,
the height of your love, through the provision of yourself! I just pray for my future partner now, in your name Lord, and by the name of 'Abba' with which you have protected those given to you, I ask that you preserve her, Lord, in the secret place of the Most High, where no evil shall befall her. I pray, Lord, that you mould her into the person that will complement me, and that you will bring her into my path at the right place, in the right time.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

The Road Less Travelled

2005-03-31T16:51:00.000+08:00

Is this how Columbus felt before he set off on his round the world trip? Originally hoping to reach the Indies, Columbus sailed to America instead, an act of serendipity totally unplanned for. He mistook the New World for India, and named the natives 'Indians'. His mistake persists to this day.

But how he must have felt when he embarked on his journey! With a lack of supporters and fierce opposition, (he approached and was rejected by many monarchs before finally finding a sponsor) how he must have struggled with those feelings of rejection and doubt.

It is never easy to be a pioneer, a propounder of a never-before-seen theory. Galileo was burned at the stake by the church for suggesting that the Earth moved round the sun. Punished for his 'heresy', he is said to have muttered 'And yet, it moves' as they fired the straw around him.

And here I am, trying to break out of the box, sometimes plagued by self doubt and fears of failure. I can understand how they felt. Not that I am a visionary, you understand. I know myself better than to heap accolades on yours truly. I am talking about my (comparatively recent) foray into options trading.

I was taught by Dr. Clemen Chiang, whom I respect for his unrestricted impartation of knowledge. Yet, I have chosen a strategy taught by him but little used by most of his students. (as seen by the dearth of winning trades using vertical spreads in the mailing lists)

Then there is the impact of my friends in MLM, who do business based on a philosophy of helping others and believe strongly in teamwork. Of all my friends who have engaged in business, I am one of the few who has chosen options trading, and I don't know anyone who has evolved a similar style of trading as me.

This results in some doubt and fear: What if my strategy doesn't work in the long run? What if I fail? What if in the long run option writing isn't advantageous? All these questions, and so few answers. I have started my own research, but, doubts remain.

How can I manage these fears? One way is to ignore it, but the problem is that running away never solves anyway. Another way, of course, is to find a like minded person who is doing something similar so that we can give each other encouragement.

I want to write a paean to the Holy Spirit, Who has proven Himself infalliable so far, and is always a Companion and a Comforter to me, but there's no life today.

I can only pray that God will guide me in the right way to go, and I thank Him that His hands are constantly on the things that I do, prospering my way.

Games, for those who want to take a break

2005-03-31T12:17:00.000+08:00

http://www.brainbashers.com/games.asp is a great site for those who want to play some games to relax the mind. So many games, so little time. I'm not being paid to advertise this link, it's just great to share the joy.

On love, on a rainy wednesday afternoon...

2005-03-30T16:23:00.000+08:00

here I am sitting in front of my beloved iMac (17" G5) . Went to NUH in the morning for radiotherapy. I was listening to pastor's cd 'God has made the way for restoration, claim it!' in april 2004. I had been plagued by doubts about my healing the past few days, but, as it turns out, there's NO CAUSE for worry! Jesus has died and has risen for my justification, and God has declared me righteous, and punished for my wholeness! I have been healed, and eagerly await the doctor's report.

I was musing about the nature of love this morning as I was waiting to see my doctor. It's just so amazing that the greatest enjoyment one can have (to give and receive love) is so freely given. All the other pleasures of life have to be bought, and usually, the strength of the pleasure is proportional to the price paid (think heroin. alcohol. LAN. not that they are without side effects, which might cause the net pleasure enjoyed to drop, but that's another article altogether) but love is priceless. What's price do we pay for love? The price is that we love the person first, as Christ loved us and gave His life for us.

One amazing thing is, we actually enjoy the act of loving. Think BGR. We feel pleasure when we give pleasure. We love to see our loved ones smile. 'Your smile makes me feel like a million bucks'. That's something I believe all couples can attest to. Where else can we find joy in paying the price for the pleasure itself?

Then there's the receiving of the love of another, or, in legalese, the consideration given in return for the consideration you provide. To know that someone (You too, Lord) loves you and desires you for who you are just brings a thrill to your heart. It does to mine, anyway.

Of course, there're different types of love. First, Eros, or sexual love, the force of physical attraction between a man and a woman. (and, increasingly, between man and man or woman and woman, but again, this subject should be reserved for another article altogether) This is the love that gives pleasure to a touch and a kiss, and finds its highest expression in the act of sexual intercourse, ordained by God to be the greatest act of pleasure, to be enjoyed in the covenant of marriage.

Next, Phileo, the love between siblings (does that include friends too? I think it should, but my Greek is highly circumscribed) is the 'normal' type of love that we experience in most of our relationships with friends.

Finally, Agape, the love God has for us, and, as Romans 5:5 says, the love that has been shed in our hearts. (those of us who are saved through His name, through faith in His name) This sort of love is self sacrificial, tolerant, etc. etc. (oh I can't describe it better than Paul did, in 1 Cor 13)

There is no better example than the BBQ on Friday. Kaix (bless you brother, who art in Taiwan) remarked in passing that in our CG, the guys always seem to 'ta' (that's bear, as in bear responsibility) everything, like sending the girls back after supper, preparing the food (for the bbq), cooking, etc. I really feel that's an exemplary instance of Agape, and it's this sort of 'training' that puts us in good stead for marriage.

On a seperate note, the heart of service also stems from the heart filled to the overflow with the Agape of God. (again, that's another article altogether)

I really thank God that the men in my CG (that's JC West A, and yes, we're men, not boys.) are so filled with the haseth (that's lovingkindness, or grace) of God. It's just so amazing, the fellowship and sense of destiny that we all have. It can only be due to the undeserved favour of Jesus. We're all works in progress, shaped by the Master Potter's hands day by day. And this I prophesy: We will all be the boyfriends and then husbands of the ones God has ordained for us. And we will be numbered amongst the best. All because of the sozo power that daily saves us.

FInally, technical problems worked out

2005-03-25T12:33:00.000+08:00

Haha a bit of HTML hacking goes a loong way. Thank God for some slight training in HTML in Chinese High (Oh how i love the school) my nickname problems are finally fixed :)

It's Good Friday today, going for a party at Lyd's house later. Cavendish Park. Hmm did you know that Cavendish (henry) was a very famous scientist in England in (1800s?) I read that in Bill Bryson's 'A Short History Of Nearly Everything'. It's an interesting book. still reading it.

Why is Good Friday so named? IMHO, it's cause Jesus died for ALL my SINS! That today I need not be punished for any of them. WOW. Thank God, in Jesus I meet the mark and deserve His power in my life!

2005-03-24T22:00:00.000+08:00

satisfied!

2005-03-24T21:56:00.000+08:00

i'm so satisfied, so satisfied,
I'm so satisfied with Your goodness in my life!

Functions of the Blog?

2005-03-24T21:02:00.000+08:00

I read this article in 'Today' yesterday. Apparently happy marriages benefit both the man and the woman, with the man receiving more from the marriage. One reason proposed was that the man has fewer close friends and hence, when he's married, his wife becomes his closest confidante, and the sharing of burdens helps to relieve stress. For women, the presence of strong social networks before marriage (think close girl friends) reduce the benefit of having a mate for this purpose

I wonder if the blog is a surrogate for confiding? Especially if you NEVER tell anyone about your blog. (hence reducing the chance of being read by your friends) Unless you have friends (like me) who google your name to dig up stuff about you (I got that idea from Hitch - Will Smith)

M y F i r s t P o s t O n M y F i r s t D i a r y E v e r

2005-03-24T20:47:00.000+08:00

Hello World! (This is the first program always taught to beginning computer programmers) Seeing how everyone around me seems to have a blog, it seems right that I start one. I just hope I have the ability to follow through and make this a regular thing :)